if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
