normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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