Non-Jews are for practice
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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