the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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