I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
