They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
