its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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