I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
