There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
