giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
do nipples grow back?
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