Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i out mim tonsoeep
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
