i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
