dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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