dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
