I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
