So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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