Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
