Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
