i will never coherently bang her
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
