Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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