Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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