She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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