I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
