I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
