i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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