I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
