Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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