You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
