Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
