I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
