My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This house was built for laser tag.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
