I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
