My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
