I cannot find my penis.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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