Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
