i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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