Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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