a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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