I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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