I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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