last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
