if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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