I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
