I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
