Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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