Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
