She said her name was "party"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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