I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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