You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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