she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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