My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
