tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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