I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize