Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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