I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
