I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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