I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
