I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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